Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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