"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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