That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
