Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
