you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
where are my eyebrows?
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