I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
