she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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