I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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