South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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