Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
