So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize