Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
