my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
