I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize