Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
