I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
