are you still at the devil's house?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
