Buhtt sex?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
