my shit smells like andre
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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