Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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