stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize