Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
