I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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