I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
