it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
