Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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