Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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