White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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