Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Who died my cat blue again?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
