OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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