i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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