yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
