do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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