So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
no, he came in my armpit
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
