The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
