I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm having to shit out rocks
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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