In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
