I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
