You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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