Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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