well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize