the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
