I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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