Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
