So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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