Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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