Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
literally had 100 drinks last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
