New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
