My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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