I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
