just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
