Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
