So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
