I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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