I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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