My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
zippers are such a cool invention
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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