i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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