Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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