Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize