Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Randomize
Follow @tfln