Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.