I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship