I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.