drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
