Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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