we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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