Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
