New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
