I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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