mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."