girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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