yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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